Loving a narcissist can be a very difficult task. You need to have some limits and distances. Sometimes the narcissist can even be your parent.
One thing you need to do is to accept and realize that your parent. You can create a distance or even decide to stop contact since that choice can be a very liberating experience to you.
Setting boundaries is also an important thing. If your parent is abusive, invasive, inappropriate or controlling, that’s especially the case.
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders even describes a condition called Narcissistic Personality Disorder as one of the 10 personality disorders. People who are narcissist base their identity on the approval as well as praise of other people. Their sense of worth is outsized even though narcissism also exists on a spectrum.
It\s also very difficult to have a relationship with a partner who is narcissistic since they don’t have empathy for other people.
A narcissistic parent is able to walk over their children and the entire family just because they’re selfish. Having a relationship with a narcissist is incredibly difficult, because they have little to no empathy for
If any of your parents is narcissistic, it can be extremely difficult to come out of their shadow. It’s necessary during the period of adulthood.
In case your parent is narcissistic, you have to be the one who will initiate a break. You can also limit your contacts. Here are some tips to help you.
1. You must understand that your well-being as well as your health are the most important.
You were probably trying to please your parents while you were growing up, but you also have your own desires and needs. When you become an adult, you have to be aware that you must come first and not your parent.
If you don’t do that, you’ll acquire numerous illnesses and diseases which will begin with a lot of stress.
2. Learn to detach and create boundaries
You need to learn how to detach so that you can get out of the shadow of your narcissistic parent. Creating healthy boundaries is extremely important. Limit your communication to e-mails or very short phone calls. Don’t talk about any emotional issues.
3. Try not to be confrontational. Set clear boundaries
Don’t try to confront your narcissistic parent with a list of their mistakes. They can’t stand criticism. You have to find a god way to communicate. In this way, you’ll grow personally and have a good well-being with optimal health. You need to persuade yourself that you’re doing this for your own good and for your mental health.
4. Be aware that your parent might not be thrilled because you need a break
Probably your parent won’t respect what you want. That’s because they don’t see you as an individual with your needs. As soon as you’ve managed to set the boundaries, don’t go back. Don’t listen to any threat, self-pity or nagging. You may need some time, but you’ll get used to it.
5. You mustn’t blame yourself for anything that’s going on in your relationship
If you come from a family where there is a narcissistic parent, you’ll probably feel self-blame and try to find faults in yourself. It’s because your parents manipulated with you. You’ll think that you’re too selfish and too sensitive.
When you become an adult, you need to remove that guilt from yourself. Take one step back in that relationship. You must take responsibility and never ever be the one that’s hurt again.
In case you want to read testimonies and personal cases about narcissistic parents, read the blog called “Narcissist Family Files” by Julie L. Hall. You can also find books on this matter: “Recovery and Healing After the Narcissist” by psychotherapist Linda Martinez-Lewi; “Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers” by Karyl McBride; “Conquering Shame and Codependency: 8 Steps to Freeing the True You” by Darlene Lancer; “Rethinking Narcissism: The Bad — And Surprising Good — About Feeling Special” by Craig Malkin etc.